talk to strangers

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• Stranger: m here
• You: f, also here
• Stranger: from where?
• Stranger: and age
• Stranger: ?
• You: From the US. 19
• Stranger: nice wats ur size?
• You: Fuck you.
• Stranger: hey wait
• Stranger: are u hot
• Stranger: ?
• You: Fuck you.
• Stranger: why ain u?
• Stranger: aint u?
• You: See, fuck you because you have no idea how to talk to a woman.
• Stranger: i m just straight
• Stranger: k lets play roleplay
• You: Okay. What will you be?
• Stranger: i will be your cousin
• Stranger: and we r alone at home
• Stranger: and i will seduce u
• You: Okay. I’ll start.
• You: “Jeffrey! Did you tape over my Buffy?”
• You: “What the FUCK Jeffrey?”
• You: “God I’ll be glad when you’re not here anymore.
• Stranger: hey i m sorry
• You: With this fucking beyblades shit?
• You: What is this, I don’t even.
• You: You’re going to have to make this up to me.
• Stranger: hey cool down sis
• Stranger: well u look sexy when u get angry
• You: I’m not your sis. We’ll never be that close.
• Stranger: k
• You: God you’re so gross. What the— are those my panties?
• Stranger: mmm yes
• You: In your backpack, I see them hanging out. Are those my fucking panties?
• You: Jesus christ Jeffrey! I’m calling mom
• Stranger: no no plz
• Stranger: dont call mom
• Stranger: i’ll not do it again
• Stranger: plz i will do whatever u want but plz dot call mom
• You: Alright. Well. Let me think of something.
• Stranger: okay
• You: Why don’t you come sit down next to me on the couch here? I still have season three here. You didn’t replace that with your japanese cartoons.
• Stranger: k as u wish
• You: This is a good one. See how Giles has her hypnotized here? It’s for an age-old ritual. Pay attention.
• Stranger: hmm i m
• You: Okay now she’s in the house. See how she has to outwit the vampire?
• Stranger: well wait emily… i want to gift u a bra for your b’day… can u tell me your size?
• You: See, Jeffrey, that’s why I wanted you to watch this with me. You really need to learn more about women, actually just human interaction in general. I literally just caught you with a pair of my panties and now you’re asking me about my breasts.
• You: It’s very off-putting.
• Stranger: well i love u emily
• Stranger: u r just amazing
• Stranger: i cant help it but i want to feel u
• Stranger: to be wid u always
• You: Whoa there, that’s pretty scary. Look, you’re only saying this because I’m the first thing with a vagina outside of your mom that you’ve ever been this close to. But if I fucked you, wow, there are so many stigmas there.
• You: You’re my family
• You: You watch beyblades
• You: You steal panties
• You: It’s impossible to reconcile these things.
• Stranger: there’s no need of….
• Stranger: i need you
• Stranger: plz
• You: Shhhh. Shh shhh shhh. It’s okay. You do need me, yes. Just not the way you think you do.
• Stranger: u r freaking sexy u made me hard everytime i see u
• Stranger: and there is hard on now also
• You: Is there… ? Oh, yeah, there it is…
• Stranger: see u done that
• You: Okay. Well, there is one thing I’d be willing to do.
• Stranger: wat?
• You: But you can’t tell anyone. ANYONE.
• Stranger: i will not
• You: If you do, I will fucking kill you. You know I can.
• Stranger: dats a promise
• Stranger: i will not
• You: Okay. I want you to drop your pants.
• Stranger: k i drop my pants
• Stranger: now boxers also
• Stranger: ahhh a huge one
• You: There it is, yes. We’re not doing anything with it right now though. It’ll have to wait.
• You: Clear off the coffee table.
• Stranger: okay
• Stranger: cleared
• You: Good, good. Now, bend over the table. Show me your asshole.
• You: Spread those cheeks.
• Stranger: k u r my master now huh
• You: I’m applying my sandpaper condom to my 9-inch strapon dildo. Pull those cheeks apart! Use your hands!
• Stranger: hey what r u doing
• Stranger: it pains
• You: This is what you wanted! Now I have your hands cuffed behind your back.
• You: I ram my dildo into your brown asshole.
• Stranger: no i want u
• You: Now I’m doing just the slickest moves with a butterfly knife while I rock you.
• You: Two butterfly knives!
• You: As I moan with ecstasy I slam them both into your spine.
• You: Buffy is still playing in the background. I know this will be the best orgasm now.
• Stranger: aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
• You: I hold you up on your knees, knowing your legs can no longer receive orders from your brain. I have severed that connection most sexily.
• Stranger: u r a dirty bitch
• Stranger: i will rape u
• You: I whip my knives out of your back and continue to whip them around in just the sickest fashion.